Today my devotional said: “The option always exists for us to tolerate and stay attached to things that everybody else seems to be enjoying without any visible sign of loss, guilt, or diminishment.”
Years ago my life was uprooted. It was done by human hands and it was unfair. I can say this with confidence because I spent two years in deep therapy with Jesus after it happened. One of the hardest things to let go of was my sense of justice. It wasn’t fair that my life was wrecked. It wasn’t fair that the people who were involved were able to stay happily planted in the soil I once called home.
Jesus and I worked hard together, creating new soil during that season. He added nutrients I needed. He tended to my tattered roots. He gently replanted me and poured living water on me daily. His breath provided the air I needed to grow stronger. He slowly added new plants to my garden, knowing that we would bless each other with all kinds of benefits by growing along side each other.
My job was to sit with Him, surrendered to his master gardening skills. Often during the process I would hash things out with Him. We talked about why He did things the way He did, how He knew when to add what. I learned to ask questions, then sit still until He answered. I learned to ponder with Him regularly during those replanting years. Inevitably, the fairness issue would work its way into our gardening days. Often He would let me fuss. Then we would return to our chatting.
One day, I was talking it out with a friend I trust deeply. She said something so profound and so transforming. She said “yeah. It’s totally unfair that they got to stay, and seem to thrive. It’s unfair that their life remained comfortable and yours was forever changed. But what if you had stayed?” Wow! What if I had...? I could have compromised significant things to stay, but I didn’t. I was whining about how their life hadn’t changed at all and she said “EXACTLY!” Look at how much you have grown! How much you have learned! How much healthier your soil has become in the process!
I let go of arguing about fairness that day. It turns out, I don’t really want to stay comfortable after all! I don’t want to stay in unhealthy soil if there is better soil for me to grow and learn in! I’ll always cling to my days in the garden with Jesus. So much good happened while I grew stronger roots. I have learned to be thankful for the painful things that make me stronger. I’m thankful that Jesus walks out the painful things with us and that He offers to help us rebuild if we will let Him. I’m thankful He gets His hands dirty and takes His time with me. I’m thankful that He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. I love Him.
What about you? Are you letting the unfairness of life keep you in bondage? Keep you from moving forward? Does the pull of what you have lost keep drawing your eyes back? What blessings have you missed by being distracted from anything other than what Jesus is wanting to teach you right now?? Or maybe you realize you have stayed planted in unhealthy soil and you aren’t growing anymore. Maybe you need to beg Him to uproot you or re-nourish you. You may have some things to really be broken over, repent of, be restored from! There is healing no matter where you’ve gotten it wrong. He is really really good at bringing things back to life!