Today is a huge day for our family, one in what feels like a long trail of huge days. Today we found out that my father-in-law has been approved for the lung transplant list. That is such a huge sentence to type. The process to get to this point has kept me up for many nights. It has found me in a puddle of tears more than I can even recall. It has humbled my prayers and overwhelmed my soul with our human weakness in light of God's never ending strength.
How do I even begin to thank the man who will use his last breath to breathe new life into David's body? Since the day 'transplant' became a common word in our life, I have not stopped praying for you. Throughout my day, you come to mind. I imagine what you're doing, your family, your friends. I beg the Lord to send someone to tell you about the beautiful gift of salvation in case you are not a believer. I beg Him to make the one He nudges to share their testimony with you brave and obedient. I wonder if you have a mom out there who has flooded Heaven with her tears over your soul. Could it even be that the prayers of a righteous saint avail much--by your death? Could it be that the way you say yes to Jesus comes about because my father-in-law will soon need a new set of lungs? Could it be that it is my fervent prayers for your soul that lead to your salvation? Can we even handle a surrender that looks so opposite of what we think life should look like?
I have begged Jesus to heal David. I am 100% surrendered to how that could look. He could be miraculously healed. He could go in for an appointment and blow everyone's freaking minds because all the scar tissue from pulmonary fibrosis is just GONE. I believe with my whole heart that God can and does do that.
He could be healed by the sacrifice of another human--one who's family says "yes--please use his organs, please take this body of the one we love so deeply and share it as far as it can go--give his body renewed life through his death, give the doctors a way to be the hands of the Great Physician. Let as many people as possible live through his sacrifice." Oh Jesus. Hold them in your hands. Please hold them.
I have also spent significant time accepting that he could be healed through death. He could literally be transformed on the way to meet his Savior as his old body is replaced with a glorified one that will be made perfect and live forever. Oh Jesus, if there is a way for this cup to pass from him....
I love this man so much--gentle David that raised the perfect husband for my life, the perfect father for my children. The man who taught mine how to play football, how to laugh, how to grill the perfect steak, how to be respectful and kind. The man who loves good food, who is willing to sit outside and ponder with me. The man who will play monopoly with my son for HOURS and won't let him win. The man who sang at our wedding. The man who loves Jesus and is prepared to meet Him if that's God's plan. We have talked about it. We have cried about it. We have learned to love each other so much deeper through this journey.
I am so thankful that God sent him Janice. She has been a uniquely wonderful friend to me since the day we met. She thinks she is weak, but she is one of the strongest women I know. Her faith has been solid, her footing sure. She loves the Lord with all her heart. She ponders His hands and how they look. They have held her up numerous times through this process. She knows Him so intimately and trusts His plan. She is facing a task that is huge no matter what happens. The process of transplanting a lung is shocking. The vetting process alone has been intense. She has handled more in the last year than most do in a lifetime, and she has done it well.
Lord, we thank You that Your ways are higher than ours. I thank You that I am not supposed to understand everything, but I can trust You anyway. I thank You that You know just what needs to happen at just the right time. I pray for David to know and receive the love and kindness of God in the midst of this. I pray for Brad and Matt to KNOW You love them and their daddy. I pray that You will be seen clearly by both of them as they walk through something so new and so rare. I pray for his sweet Janice to never feel alone. I pray for everyone to be overwhelmed by Your power, holiness, and goodness to care about what happens in the details of our lives. I pray for the doctors to be fresh, calm, and prepared. It's Your breath in our lungs. I trust you to breathe new life into this situation. I pray for Your glory to shine brighter than any darkness that tries to invade.
Finally, I pray for You to love on the man who will give his life at a time that it can help David live. I pray for his family to be surrounded with peace that passes all understanding. I pray for them to have beautiful quality time together. I pray that they won't leave each other in anger. I pray that they will have so much fun together before his time to meet You comes. I pray that anything that needs to be resolved will be handled. I pray that You will speak deeply to his heart and call him to be your child. I pray that he will say yes. I pray for a million yeses to come before and to come after. I praise You that You have provided a way for an end here to simply be a new beginning. I rest in that. I trust in that. I am excited about that. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.