This weekend, the plan was to rearrange our bedroom. Friday, I accidentally went to Home Depot, bought some paint, and repainted the kitchen--surprising Brad when he came home from work. Like..surprise! you married an idiot! For the next several days, our house was a complete disaster. No room--honestly not many spaces were unaffected. He married a creative, he knew what he was getting-ish.
I literally didn't have a plan. I just had a whim, and went for it. As we lived around my great ideas for several days, we hashed out different ways we could shake things up and utilize the space better. As many of you know, we live in a little house so we can afford to leave it. But my heart loves a house full of people. Therefore, it's a good thing we aren't pretending to have it all together....We have a cute square kitchen table my daddy and his friend built for us maybe 15 years ago. We have squeezed 8 people uncomfortably around it several times, but lately have been really dreaming of ways to make our space go further.
Meanwhile, life chaotically spun on. When Brad and Selah had a daddy daughter fishing party, Asher and I set out on our own adventure--thrifting at an antique mall. (Thank you Chip Gaines for making this a cool thing for my 12 year old son to do with me!) I planned to just look. Then I accidentally saw a table that was everything I didn't even know I wanted. I sent a picture to Brad. He gave me the freedom to make the call. Asher and I debated until we suddenly saw the glorious sign from Heaven--60% off. DONE. We bought a table.
I don't consider myself an overly sentimental person, but on the drive home, I started thinking about my little square table. A lot of life has happened around it. Not only did daddy build it for me, but we designed it together. It's covered with scratches made by hands learning how to use forks, and colors that didn't quite scrub off from a million crafts. When we flipped it sideways to carry it out of the house and glitter fell out of every crack, I almost changed my mind.
As He so often does, the Lord taught me a sweet lesson from letting go of the square table. It had served us well, but it was time to expand our territory. If I hold on to things because they are safe, known, or familiar, what do I miss out on? One of the verses that has been a lifeline for me is Isaiah 43:18-19a "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" I will always appreciate that sweet square table! I want to relive some of the tender and funny, precious and even hard memories. But I never want to be so attached to them that I am unwilling to move on to the new things God wants me to perceive. I want to be a pioneer not a settler.
The night we came home and found ourselves with two kitchen tables in a tiny house and no plan....we went to a meeting at a friends house. We mentioned the table and she lit up. A few days before, she found out about a single mom who was desperate for furniture. A few of the ladies from our church have been loving on her--meeting her physical needs while praying for her spiritual. Just like that, the table my daddy built with his sweet hands has new life, too. A new life that wouldn't have been possible if I had been unwilling to release it. Just like Jesus intended, we aren't asked to leave things behind to rot or ruin. In fact, that's actually what tends to happen when we chose our desires over His. When we leave behind good things in obedience to His nudging, we can trust that it is secure enough in His root system that we can forget about it and move on to new adventures. When we leave the things we value in His hands, suddenly all of it can spread and grow--expanding His glory in new and creative ways. I hope the next family is as blessed by the little square table as we have been!