I have never been the kind of girl who thinks I will someday build my "forever home". I don't know why, but even as a little girl, I didn't draw it or picture it. I didn't have floor plans in my hope chest. I don't have it all planned out on a Pinterest board. I honestly can't imagine ever saying a house is a forever home.
I've wondered about that. I see so many people declare a house their forever home and they seem so happy and excited about it! It is a dream they worked hard to create and you can just see their contentment in a dream fulfilled. Maybe it's my gypsy spirit that never wants to admit I have settled down permanently (even though I've lived in the same house for 16 years). My reality indicates I'm a settle down kind of girl. But my heart longs to wander.
I have tons of pictures of houses I would LOVE to live in, love to build, design and decorate. But deep down, I know I would get tired of them--or couldn't afford them. I wouldn't feel satisfied, we would be house broke and feel chained to it, the style would get dated, and I would always want to upgrade something. There are a ton of reasons, but I knew that somehow I would never really see even the coolest dream house as a "forever home". I had never even seen a picture of a house that would fit my dream of 'forever' until about 7 or 8 years ago. I stumbled across this picture, and something in me connected. As the years have gone by, I have fallen in love with craftsman style homes, farmhouses, funky boho houses, treehouses, but this picture forever calls to me in my dreams. This house seems to be designed for my roots to sink into.
I have prayed a lot about my longing for home with the Lord. I feel like I constantly confess discontentment with what we have, with what we can afford, with the discrepancy between reality and dreams. During one of those prayers, I suddenly understood why I never feel completely at home and content. Because honestly, we are not designed to feel at home in a world where sin keeps Jesus away. This earth is not my home. Maybe it is ok that I feel discontent. There is no reason to settle in here, when Jesus has gone back to the Father and is preparing a place for me--He is preparing my Forever Home.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in Me. My Father's house has many mansions; if it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."
He brought the picture of the little beach house to my mind. Do you love that, Amanda? What about this house lights you up? I know your longings. I am right in the middle of them. I know the dreams you have, I dream them with you. You have no idea how much detail I have put into your house here. How intimately each piece of it is custom made for you. I have thought of everything. I love details and I know you. The picture you have is to remind you that the work you are doing on earth isn't for nothing! It is hard work but the investment is Heaven. The investment is building for you some super cool things here. I cannot wait to show you. I cannot wait to see you light up with delight at the surprises I am making as you pray, as you serve, as you worship, as you give. It breaks my heart when you are sad and don't feel content. I wish so much that we didn't have the barrier between us that causes that inevitable longing. Soon. I have a plan. I know the path isn't easy--I tried to warn you, but I know it's hard to really grasp what that means until you're living it. Be still with Me. Dream with Me. Long for more of Me. I long for you. Spend time letting your mind imagine the gifts I have for you. Spend time longing for home. It's even better. Just wait a minute. You'll see that every sacrifice is totally worth it.
Longing for Home will hang on the wall where I work, to remind me to really ponder what I want to invest my time, money, energy, and heart in. To ponder what I let myself dream of and work towards. It will also be there every day to remind me to long for my forever home. I can't wait to see the new colors He has created.