“Amanda. He didn’t make it”.
One phone call.
Nothing is the same again after. Ever.
There are very few moments in life when the whole world seems to both stop and spin out of control. My Nic. Broken in a million pieces an ocean away. Neither of us have a clue what was said after that. Does it even matter? Words can’t help.
I just kept crying “Jesus Jesus we need you so desperately.”
War is so painful. Doug loved America. He was a smart, West Point grad. He was a methodical and generous man. The day his humvee was hit by an IED, he had offered to cover a shift for one of his soldiers. And just like that, everything changed. For all of us.
I’ve spent many many hours praying for the soldier Doug died for. I knew Doug’s heart. I knew he loved Jesus. Maybe the soldier didn’t? Maybe Doug died in his place to give him more time to get his heart right. I’ve prayed tirelessly that he has. But even when Jesus died for people, some accept the sacrifice and some don’t. Choices
Here’s the weird thing about being a souled out follower of Jesus. Salvation has been at the heart of Nics healing. Her broken, shattered heart saw this as an opportunity to crumble or to build. Her weapon a pen. She began to write. She is a divinely gifted writer. Full of wisdom. She wrote a beautiful tribute to Doug, imagining what was happening to him after he died and sharing her journey on this side.
But that wasn’t enough. Her calling lead her to passionately study the word. She began to hound heaven with questions and pour over scripture to learn what it looks like when we reconnect with our loved ones in the end. Her weapon has created bible studies, teaching the end of times in a way that will never allow you to be casual with your life. It has changed so many of us I can’t even calculate.
Yes today is hard. Every year I let myself look at this picture and come apart. Mourning what their life should have been, mourning that even though her now man-child never really knew his amazing daddy, he looks more and more like him as he gets older. I mourn that other men have had to step into Doug’s place to teach Dak the things he would have loved to.
Then I turn my mourning into laughter. Because Nic is light. Being with her is life giving. Because she is so full of Jesus she shines. And the work God has invited her to do will change the remnant of believers into something so much larger than even she imagined. Her prayer was for 100 people to know Jesus as a result. He promised her more. I believe him.
Here is the link to order her books. Bless someone who sacrificed for your freedom by ordering them all today.